Zoe Week: Hey Ella, do you know anything about lawnmowers?

Phone rings. It's Zoe.

Me: Hey
Zoe: Hey...ummm...sooooo...do you know anything about lawnmowers?
Me: Like what?
Zoe: well we just got a new one today and I was out cutting the lawn and it just stopped working and I can't get it going again.
Me: Is it used?
Zoe: No, brand new. Just got it today.
Me: Hmmm....is it gas or electric?
Zoe: Gas
Me: And you're not out of gas or anything simple like that?
Zoe: No, no...I only got like a quarter of the yard done.
Me: Hmmmm...did you run over anything, like a branch or a rock?
Zoe: No
Me: Is your grass really really long? If mine clogs up it'll stop and you have to clear out the grass
Zoe: No, it's not that
Me: Hmmmm...
Zoe: Hmmmmm....
Me: You're not low on oil are you?
Zoe: I already told you, there's gas in it.
Me: I don't mean gas I mean OIL. Didn't you put oil in it?
Zoe: No....I just out gas in it
Me: You didn't put ANY oil in it at all?
Zoe: No. Is that bad?
Me: Uh YEAH, it's bad! About as bad as it gets!
Zoe: Well for God's sake Ella, how the HELL am I supposed to know it needs oil? SHEESH!
Me: Are you looking at the lawnmower?
Zoe: Yes..
Me: See that little cap on it...not the gas cap, the other one?
Zoe: Yes...
Me: What does it say on it?
PAUSE
Zoe: Sigh. It says "oil". Stupid lawnmower!
Me: Yeah, Zoe. The LAWNMOWER is stupid.