Happy Birthday to me!

So I’m 38 now. Thirty-eight. Ew. Tastes yucky in my mouth when I say it.

So far my birthday has been pretty typical. Yesterday…
Mom: Sooooooooooo
Me: So
Mom: What’s the big plan for Wednesday?
Me: Is something happening on Wednesday?
Mom: Ummm…YEAH, your BIRTHDAY!
Me: My birthday is tomorrow Mom: Err…you sure?
Me: Yes
Mom: No
Me: Well if I’m wrong I should probably correct my driver’s license, passport and birth certificate but hey…you WERE there so…

This from a woman who lost two whole years when she thought she was turning 48 but was turning 50.

Last night…
Me: You know what I want for my birthday you guys? I want everyone to get out of bed with smiles on their faces, eat breakfast with no complaints, get dressed, brush teeth quietly and calmly. That would make all Mom’s dreams come true. Can you do that for me?
Summer: Ok Mom. I will
Gavin: Yeah Mom, we can do that. And we’ll do it like that every day forever ok? That will be your birthday present.

This morning…
Me: DAMMIT GAVIN! Get out of bed! Summer! Stop finger painting with the ketchup and eat your eggs! GAVIN! I said GET UP! Gavin? Are you even…WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING! GET. UP! Summer, just eat them. I’m sorry you don’t like the yellow part of your SCRAMBLED EGGS but that’s just how they are…NO I CANNOT PICK OUT THE YELLOW PARTS! GAVIN! GET OUT OF BED!

On the drive to work, listening to the radio. Birthday announcements come on…
Radio DJ: This one from husband Mark . He says “Like a fine wine” his wife Ella turns another year older. She’s heading to work out in Montague! Happy birthday Ella from your kids Summer , Gavin and your MUCH, MUUUUCH younger husband Mark!
Other DJ: Wait does that mean she’s heading to work drunk?
First DJ: Errr
Second DJ: Well you said about the wine…
First DJ: Oh yeah it’s an expression. Like a fine wine, better with age…AAAAAAnyway Happy birthday to Ella NOT going to work drunk!

I wish I was.
Also, FYI Mark is 10 months younger than me. It’s not even 10am. More birthday to come.