Bad Words

I remember when I was 6 and I learned the "F" word...the REAL "F" word. And also the middle finger. My Dad was yelling at me for something, who knows, anyway he turned his back and in my fury I lifted my middle finger and whispered "fuck off" just as he turned around. I had no idea what any of it meant but I knew it was bad. VERY VERY BAD! I saw my entire 6 years flash before my eyes. I wondered if it was going to hurt. Because I was certain that I was about to be killed. Dad just looked surprised, bit his lip a little and walked away quickly, shoulders shuddering. I now know that he was trying very hard not to laugh and this happens to me now on a regular basis.

I am starting to think that it's a universal thing that being 6 years old is all about discovering bad words. Gavin never knew or cared about bad words when he was 5, but it seems like everything is about bad words these days.

Gavin: Mom, Carter said a bad word at daycare. The "B" word!
Me: Oh yeah? And what's the "B" word?
Gavin: Will I get in trouble if I say it?
Me: No not if you're just telling me
Gavin: Ok.....he said (loud whisper) BALLS!


Gavin playing Minecraft: Oh my God! Holy crap! Holy crap!
Me: GAVIN MARK KELLY!

Where did he even learn that? I don't say crap.

The funny thing is he doesn't even really know what words are bad. Like he has it all wrong.

Overheard talking to a group of girls he was trying to impress:
Gavin: There are 3 really REALLY bad words. There's the "S" word, and the "C" word, and then the baddest is the "F" word

I know what you're thinking. Just wait for it...

Me: Gavin...come over here and let's have a chat
Gavin: Uh oh
Me: I heard you talking about bad words with the girls. I want you to tell me what those words are please
Gavin (clearly knows he's in deep "S" word): Ok Mom. Umm...the "S" word is "stupid"
Me: Mmm-hmmmm....
Gavin: The "C" word is "shit" (Gavin is in French immersion. the "Sh" sound in French is spelled "Ch")
Me: Go on...what's the "F" word?
Gavin (looks at the floor): It's frig....but Carter says it wrong. He calls it "fuck"

I can't even....