Hashtag Toronto

Toronto.Was. AWESOME! Today,the Monday after...not so much. I cannot recall being this tired ever, except maybe for the first 48 hours of motherhood. I'm sure you're all wondering all about my trip, so here's a run-down.

WARNING: We said "hastag" a lot and so I'm going to continue that trend in this post. Annoying, I know. #dealwithit

 #Kristin
 We got this condo on King West and the girl who apparently lives there is called Kristin. Kristin needs a maid. Or at least some paper towels and spray cleaner. She didn't make a lot of effort to clean the place up for us and we left it cleaner than we got it. She also seemed very under-prepared for guests. Like, it looked like she had cleared out in a hurry. She left a lot of stuff behind. Personal stuff....I know what you're all thinking and yes. OF COURSE we looked through all her drawers and closets! She has some funky face cream that has snails as the main ingredient. She has mink fake eyelashes. She's a size 00 and we wear the same shoe size. WHAT!? Do NOT look at me like that.You would do it too and you know it.

What Kristin does NOT have is facecloths, extra blankets or an iron....or a cleaning lady.

 #haveanotherdrink #toomuchwine #toooldforthis #hardcore
The people we were with know how to have a good time! I had way too much alcohol and FAR too little sleep this weekend. I am generally a lightweight when it comes to booze and I'm an early to bed kind of girl. I feel like I was awake and half lit the whole time and I am paying for it today. I can literally feel the bags under my eyes.

I went into my favorite cafe this morning. I usually get a kale juice. The owner took one look at me and laughed.
Owner: Latte?
Me: Please
Owner: One shot or two?
Me: (GLARE)
Owner: Three it is

The people we were with are all younger than me and don't have any kids. I can't compete with that. I am a 38 year old soccer mom. I'm so old and past it that I don't even long for those days anymore. I long for my bath and my bed and my Coronation Street. God I'm lame!

#highlightofthetrip #idplease #38
Without a doubt the highlight of my trip was getting carded at a bar. Me. Like, for reals. And I don't think he was nudging his buddies saying "watch me mess with this desperate old has-been!" He seemed genuinely surprised when he looked at my ID. Must be all the fresh salt air in PEI. Good for the skin you know.

#shopping #nothingfit me
Ugh....Shopping...my nemesis. I love/hate shopping. To clarify: I love clothes and I love having new clothes. What I hate is the process of looking through racks of crap to find a few potentials, then trying on all my finds only to have NOTHING fit me. Anyway, we shopped. And shopped. AND SHOPPED. I bought literally nothing. Ok well not LITERALLY, literally. But not much. At least I'm still solvent and my kids don't have to eat KD for the next month. So, you know, every cloud.

#ArtBattle #jkfanclub #peirepresent #jefflikestoart
Those are all real hashtages and you should check them out on Twitter. There are pictures and everything.

So Art Battle is the reason we went to T-dot on the first place. My brother in law Jeff competed int he national Art Battle finals, representing PEI. He did amazing. I don't think he had high expectations for himself becuase he had checked out the other artists and they are all fantastic, but Jeff can hold his own in that crowd, and he BROUGHT IT! I was so stressed out the whole time but it was so much fun. In the end Jeff didn't take home the trophy but who cares. It was a great time, he did an incredible job and people loved his work.

#eaglesview
 Art is funny, isn't it? And arsty people are funny. I can say that because I grew up with this (you all remember my mom, right?). Sometimes art people can get really pretentious about the work and get so deep in their "interprestations" that it gets really silly.Like, they're looking for meaning that isn't there. Sometimes a painting of a tree is just a tree, you know? So Jeff's first round painting was a woman's face, side profile. Some people were examining it between rounds, squinting at it, rubbing their chins, nodding....as arty people do when they are taking in a new peice.

Overheard:
Arty person 1: So what is the name?
Arty person 2: The sign says Jeff Kelly
Arty person 1: Oh yes. That's the artist. But what's the title of the painting?
Arty person 3: I heard someone say it's called Eagle's View. If you look closely you can find an eagle hidden in the painting 
Arty persons 1 and 2:(stroking chins and nodding)Ohhhhh!!! Mmmmm-Hmmmm!!!

#Battleofthebutts
Something really interesting happened at Art Battle. It was held in the Maple Leaf Center rink, which is huge. Jeff and the winning artist were on opposite sides of the rink, backs to each other, and they painted THE SAME THING! Different style, but exactly the same thing. A woman's bum. A big, juicy bum. Same pose and everything. And people were going back and forth between the two like crazy trying to decide which one they liked best. It was NUTS! I loved it.

#inanutshell So in a nutshell.... Lots of wine, not enough sleep. Kristin needs to get a maid and stop putting snails on her face (EW!). I still need to find a pencil skirt in my size and may have to order the MK sandals online if I can find them. Art Battle was excellent...glad I went!
#andwecan'tstop #andwewon'tstop