"PHWEF! Great workout!"
"Bootcamp was AWESOME today!"
"OMG I haven't worked out in 3 days and I miss it SOOOOO MUCH!!!!!"
Well I call bullshit. I do not believe you when you say you love working out...yes I'm talking to you, Zoe. I don't buy it for one second.
My little sister Zoe, as many of you know, has lost a big ol' pile of weight and is now a fitness model/trainer/inspiration. Round of applause for Zoe (for reals y'all!!!! That's a super big deal!). Now, I'm not very big myself but I am pretty wimpy and flabby. Zoe likes to point out my spaghetti arms at every opportunity. After much harrasing I have finally agreed to give working out a go.
Now, just a little background about me and exercise....
I have worked out in the past, and although I do sometimes find myself in a good routine, it never lasts. Never. It's a waste of money for me to buy a gym membership because I won't go. I have a treadmill, and it's even right on front of the TV so I can watch my shows while I walk....hang clothes on it. I can come up with an excuse like THAT *finger snap* any time, any place NOT to work out (my knees hurt, I just ate and my personal favorite, the kids...). I do love yoga though...but I'm not even as consistent at that as I'd like. Zoe says it's just a stretch. A great, healthy, wonderful stretch...but still, just a stretch.
Me: Yeah but you get all sweaty and stuff
Zoe: It's 109 degrees in there
Me: Yeah but...
Zoe: Just a stretch, man.
Me: But check out my arms from all the planks and upward dogs! *flex*
Zoe: BWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!Stop it!* GASP* No more! Too *GASP* funny! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Me: *hangs head in shame*
So ok...back to the present..Zoe gives me some exercises to do at home.
Zoe writing down my workout plan.
Mark: PFT.
Zoe: What?
Mark: She's so not going to do that
Me: HEY! Yes I am!
Mark and Zoe: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Evil fuckers. I'll show them!
Day 1
Zoe: So did you work out?
Me: No, I fell asleep.
Zoe: Ella...
Me: WHAT! The kids.....
Day 2
Zoe: So did you do it?
Me: No I went to yoga
Zoe: Ella...
Me: WHAT! I HAVE to go to yoga! My back...you know....
Day 3
Me on FB: Going upstairs to do the workout now
Leave FB open, go upstairs and do the workout.
Mark walks by and sees FB open. The following is cut and pasted from FB:
- For your information, I am on my way upstairs to do my bootcamp workout right now.
- Good! I hope u puke! That means a hot ass
- did u do it?
- or what???
- what are you doing on facebook?? get back to the sweat mang!!
- This is Mark
- The bitch leaves FB logged in on my computer all day ever day.
- She is upstairs moaning
- looking for another place to put quarters into the treadmil.
- ahahahahahaha
- is she really doing it?
- Yep - I can take a pic on my phone if you like.
- ohhh yes please
- lol
- <-- Brad popping in here real quick while Zoe types. Zoe leaves FB logged in on my PC too
- pft whatever BRAD!!!
- lol
- Arrgg I know right - makes me mad - I don't have FB and don't want to be tempted by it.
- Anywho - ok I will do a paparazzi pic
- yessssss do it
- lmao
- (Brad) We could do a FaceTime. Have Zoe taunting her on.
- lool
- She just stopped as I climbed the stairs - so I got her putting stuff away - she did not like me taking pics.
- Speaking of Facetime - what email address do you guys have on your iPad for Apple ID?
- hahaha putting stuff away? that's not part of my bootcamp...
- Ours is email@address.com
- email@address.com
- She had the Yoga mat out on the floor and everything.
- Its crazy - now I know she knows how to use it.
- so she did it and finished it?
- I just sent a msg to your Cell phone # I think. If it is your proper Cell -
- My cell is 555-5555
- I believe she is done - its hard to tell cause Corenation Street is booming on the TV up there.
- LOL
- that's one sweaty lookin chick
- love it
- She had words for me - when she saw me/ What are you doing? How long have you been there? is that video? "
- i told her you sent me - she was like? WHAT? She txted you and asked you to check up on me.
- ahahahahahahaa
- im not sure what the yoga mat is for.. lol i think she was improvising the bootcamp a little
- You fuckers!
- lol noo i didnt get to it on time
- Of COURSE I fucking did it! ALL of it! The yoga mat was because my hands kept slipping when I did the inchworms and my knees hurt on the floor when I did pushupsAssholes.Well, I'm proud to inform all you doubters out there that I have now done the workout FOUR TIMES. I think it may actually be getting harder. I'm definitely hating it more. And this brings me back to my original point, which is:I do not believe that anyone actually likes working out. You may like the way it feels when you're done. Sure the sense of accomplishment is awesome. No one can deny that the results are well worth it. But I do not believe that anyone, in the middle of their second set of high-knees is thinking : Fuck yeah! This is so much fun!More like: 25, 26, 27...close enough.
